Every Indian girl grows up listening to how she should learn to adjust to new environment & people, considering she will be wedded into a new family one day. When she becomes the bride-to-be, she is guided on how she should win the hearts of the new family by being the ‘Adaptable bride’, ‘Perfect cook’, ‘Ideal daughter-in-law’ who is soft-spoken, God-fearing & obedient.
I have always wondered why the guy is called the ‘Groom’ while all the grooming is exclusively kept for the bride.
On a serious note, I have really wondered why ‘pleasing and being accepted’ is always seen as the responsibility of only the bride?
How does all the years of education, reasoning, logical thinking, respecting oneself to become an independent woman, magically transcend into teaching her to become someone who- ‘doesn’t share her opinions in front of elders’, ‘accept tantrums’, ‘does not question the illogical snubbing ideologies’, when she enters the beautiful bride-to-be phase.
I have been lucky to have been brought up by parents who didn’t believe in gender bias, but at the same time, I have grown up seeing modern families following the not so relevant traditions.
Being a strong believer of ‘Be the change you want to see in the World’, I make an oath to myself, to break the stereotype cascading over generations:
While I write this article, I wish and pray most of the readers find this to be something cliché & very obvious.
Dedicated to all the women out there, who have been made to believe that being outspoken is not lady-like!!!
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February 26th, 2022 at 5:09 pm
Well written ❤😊
February 26th, 2022 at 5:12 pm
Beautifully
I love the way you have titled it ‘Oath to self’ as change starts from us.
February 26th, 2022 at 5:23 pm
Nice article! Well presented! Keep the good work going👍
February 26th, 2022 at 6:07 pm
Wonderful loved to the core 😍 as true to the core
February 26th, 2022 at 6:10 pm
Thanks Megha ❤️
February 26th, 2022 at 6:11 pm
Thank you 😊
February 26th, 2022 at 6:13 pm
Great Article Preethi!
February 26th, 2022 at 6:13 pm
Thank you 😊
February 26th, 2022 at 6:34 pm
Nicely written Chotu..!!
February 26th, 2022 at 7:16 pm
Thank you 😊
February 26th, 2022 at 7:16 pm
Thank you 🙂
February 26th, 2022 at 7:44 pm
Nicely written Preethi.
February 26th, 2022 at 8:16 pm
Kudos to you.. Very well written
February 26th, 2022 at 9:39 pm
Good thoughts and well penned!
February 27th, 2022 at 12:27 am
Very well said !! 👏🏻
February 27th, 2022 at 11:01 am
Well said…👏🙌… especially last line being outspoken not lady like … 👍
February 27th, 2022 at 11:04 am
Women have to support other women more often to break this patriarchy😊 my articles is an endeavour to reach every woman who thinks it’s wrong to think of her rights 🙂
February 27th, 2022 at 12:34 pm
Absolutely loved the title dear which makes a strong point in itself! The groom and grooming line is so apt!! Another gem of an article Preethi ♥️ A perfect ode to the very essence of being a woman! Kudos
February 27th, 2022 at 12:34 pm
Absolutely loved the title dear which makes a strong point in itself! The groom and grooming line is so apt!! Another gem of an article Preethi ♥️ A perfect ode to the very essence of being a woman! Kudos
February 27th, 2022 at 1:28 pm
Thank you so much Mrs.Tomar 😊
February 27th, 2022 at 2:01 pm
Very well said Preethi 🥰
February 27th, 2022 at 3:34 pm
Thank you Chetana 😊
February 27th, 2022 at 3:35 pm
Thank you Mrs.Tomar 😊
February 28th, 2022 at 9:25 pm
This is awesome! Holds good for everyone woman.
I really liked your ‘groom’ stuff ☺️
February 28th, 2022 at 9:26 pm
Thank you Gayathri 🙂
February 28th, 2022 at 11:19 pm
Such a beautiful piece. True to every word and showcases the reality in every aspect. A lot of women can relate to it. Very empowering.
March 1st, 2022 at 4:19 pm
Loved the concluding line where you *expect* this to be a cliche! I’m from urban middle class South India and in most families I’ve seen closely, the parents don’t have gender-bias. They educate and groom both sons and daughters, and bring them up to be tolerant, well-rounded, compassionate yet strong and resilient individuals rooted in tradition, who can take care of themselves and their family and friends. So at least to me this is definitely a cliche for as far as I can see.. And that is definitely a good thing 🙂
March 1st, 2022 at 4:36 pm
Great to know! Thanks 🙂
March 1st, 2022 at 4:36 pm
Thanks Mona 🙂
March 1st, 2022 at 4:37 pm
Thanks 🙂
March 1st, 2022 at 4:37 pm
Thank you 🙂
March 1st, 2022 at 4:37 pm
Thank you 🙂
March 1st, 2022 at 4:37 pm
Thank you😊
March 1st, 2022 at 4:38 pm
Thank you 😊
March 11th, 2022 at 9:29 pm
Very subtle and well written Preethi.. 🙂
March 11th, 2022 at 10:01 pm
😊
September 8th, 2022 at 3:45 pm
Amazing write-up!! Well explained feminism
September 17th, 2022 at 2:11 am
Very well written Preethi 😀
September 19th, 2022 at 9:31 pm
Dear Preethi, it’s not a cliche for many women and I hope this changes. When I read the matrimonial ads in ToI on Sundays, it saddens me that the ‘ideal bride’ is still in the fair, slender, beautiful, gunkari, susheel mould ..and all we know about the groom is his salary !!! the rest doesn’t matter !! ….
August 25th, 2024 at 11:06 am
So well written darling. 💖
September 16th, 2024 at 11:51 am
Thank you so much 🙂
September 18th, 2025 at 8:05 am
While women are generally better with emotional intelligence and have better ability to keep a family together than men, I agree it should not be thrust upon them to follow what generations have done. Gender bias still exists in many so called modern thinking family as well. Some do it unintentionally while large community don’t know any better. She has to stand up for herself. Keeping quite is not an option and we should normalize it.
September 22nd, 2025 at 10:25 am
Thank you so much 🙏🏽😊
September 23rd, 2025 at 9:25 pm
It is a well written article, bringing to the fore, many things that we have usually been taking for granted. We need to keep learning all the time ….. and…. by God, there is so much to learn! Men and women need to be understood as the pair of wheels that give stability to society.
September 23rd, 2025 at 9:53 pm
Thank you ma’am 😊
September 26th, 2025 at 8:41 am
Wonderful.
Every girl must have this awareness. And every parent BOTH AS A TEAM MUST INSTIL THESE QUALITIES IN THEIR DAUGHTER..
September 26th, 2025 at 9:38 am
Thank you 😊🙏🏽
September 26th, 2025 at 10:42 am
This is the difference between being literate and behaving in an educated manner. Great thoughts.
September 26th, 2025 at 10:25 pm
Very well written ensuring that the message is subtle but very clear…
September 26th, 2025 at 11:03 pm
Hi dear Preethi.. very well written as always.Title is beautiful. Keep it up.
October 1st, 2025 at 8:15 pm
Well said Preethi and also good to raise girls as out spoken and courageous. Beautiful oath this Dusheera…. 👌
May 7th, 2026 at 3:52 pm
A beautiful blog. I had never asked this question, the title itself created an curiosity to read through & could relate. I think the change has to be from within, not just voicing out as a woman but also giving space for others who voice out in other roles as woman. Appreciate your intiative, how to upbring a daughter.
May 7th, 2026 at 3:53 pm
Thank you 😊