It’s been 10 days since the horrific rape of the doctor in Kolkata, and I’ve continuously seen posts on all social media platforms demanding justice. We’ve all been frustrated by the government’s lack of stringent laws and enforcement to punish such criminals, leaving little deterrence to prevent these incidents.
I uploaded the story and status messages too; I did get a sense of satisfaction of having done my bit!!!
BUT have I done enough???
Who are these psychotic criminals? Do they come from a different planet? Do they have their own special habitat??? Are they alien to our society???
NO!!!
They live amongst us… they go to same malls we visit; they walk by the schools we send our children to; they drive on the same roads as us, take the same public transport as us!!! And many times, live in our colonies!!! And sometimes live in OUR HOMES or HOMES OF OUR LOVED ONES.
It’s unrealistic to be in every public place at all times to protect our daughters, sisters, wives, or mothers from such monsters!!! So, we strictly ask them to be cautious when they go out and impose a restriction on commuting alone and the time they return home. Basically, take proactive measures to protect them.
But what about the ones within our home???
According to NCRB Report, 96% of rapes are committed by people in the close circle of the victim.
Statistics show that 30% of Indian women in India have experienced a form of physical/ sexual abuse at some point in their life: Source-NFHS.
I consider myself extremely lucky- to fall in the other 70%. But did I do enough for my sisters, my friends who weren’t lucky?
Did I ignore signs of misbehavior from men/ boys in the family or in our circle and let it go in the name of ‘Men will be men’ or ‘Other than that he is good man/ boy’; ‘it’s just a phase, he is not a bad man”!!!
Do we have to wait for messages to get vulgar??? Do we have to wait for the abuse to turn sexual and eventually fatal??? for us to SPEAK UP??
While we impose preventive measures, like enforcing a 7 p.m. curfew to protect our women from strangers, why do we wait for things to escalate before addressing the harmful behavior of men within OUR OWN HOMES?
IT IS BECAUSE- even today, in spite of being educated and independent women, our brains are hardwired to protect our Family’s FAKE PRIDE in the society!!!!
Even today- our brains are hardwired to NOT VALUE WOMEN enough for us to gather some courage to STAND UP for what is right– whether it is abuse, flirtation, dowry, inequality, women are expected to TOLERATE and not make a fuss about it!!!
We fail to realize that if a girl, woman, or child is abused right under our noses, our fake pride has already gone down the f****** gutter!!!
At least save the girl!!! Our silence & tolerance is providing these monsters the audacity to increase their intensity of crime, spread their wings to people outside the circle!!!
If we don’t speak up now- we are nurturing horrible rapists of tomorrow & WE ARE TO BE BLAMED!!!
NIP the fucking evil in the BUD!!!!
Stop teaching women tolerance!!! Stop proclaiming- Women from good families don’t share opinions, don’t speak up!! Don’t use the F word!!!! Instead accept, men from good families do not F without consent!!! Sounds too harsh??? Imagine the plight of the women who went thru the abuse!!!! If our blood doesn’t boil after reading details of the (Kolkata) doctor’s brutal rape, then what will???
When there is no consent- woman must by default not just use the F word but kick the monster in his balls and BLOODY MAKE A FUSS ABOUT IT!!!! whether he happens to be a stranger or her own family member!!!
Because IT IS A BIG DEAL!!! Physical, mental and Sexual ABUSE ARE A BIG DEAL!!!
If every woman pays attention to those early warning signs in men around her & her friends, most importantly chooses to SPEAK UP, not ignore in the name of relationship, family & bloody pride!!!! Only then… WE WILL BE DOING OUR BIT!!!
They say Charity begins at home, SO DOES SAFETY!!!!
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August 19th, 2024 at 3:07 pm
I will not leave the responsibility of protecting women’s and I will fight for women harrasment. Jai hind!
August 19th, 2024 at 3:22 pm
Most of the families don’t wanna interfere and stop such ruthless actions taking place in next doors..it’s boys who has be raised properly not the women. This problem is in global level not only on india.
Parents n mentors are under huge responsibility to cut the tails of such boys behavior.
August 19th, 2024 at 3:25 pm
Soo true!!!
August 19th, 2024 at 3:29 pm
Yes! To arms, ye brave! Stand up for women and stand by women. At the same time look out for some men who are victimized, too. Because, abusers come in all shapes and sizes (and genders) There are also women who abuse women. Case in point, a woman who killed her daughter in law because the latter did not accede to giving her sexual favours!!!! Yes, there is a brutal world out there. Everyone of us needs to be watchful and careful…..men, women and children.
August 19th, 2024 at 3:32 pm
Related to your post and therefore the changes that need to be brought in.
Everyone has to do their bit both at home and outside.
August 19th, 2024 at 3:43 pm
Agree 🙂
August 19th, 2024 at 4:21 pm
So true.
It is the equal responsibility of a woman too to stand up against such men.
August 19th, 2024 at 4:23 pm
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
August 19th, 2024 at 4:25 pm
The feminist movement started in 1850 in India and today your article still remains relevant!!!! Women have been struggling and fighting since then…be it for status, equality, safety, property, mental & physical health…the list is endless. Yes, things have changed but we have paid the price for it …also such incidents push us back a long way. NCRB data shows a conviction rate of 25 to 26% in the rape cases …these are those where the criminals are arrested, what about the others? So it’s up to us women, and as you said we must become strong to kick the fucking balls …..
August 19th, 2024 at 4:33 pm
So very true Mrs.Deepali!! Thank you for calling this out loud!!
August 19th, 2024 at 6:56 pm
A great man had said ‘ The day a woman can walk safely at night on the street then we can consider to have achieved real freedom’.
To me there is a flaw in that statement because the benchmark is set only for the instance of what meets the public eye and not worried what happens within the walls of our homes.
So even after 78 years of independence, forget streets our daughters are not feeling safe in doors also.
The mentality of our Society both people and governments needs to change big for any improvement in the situation.
You have summarised the current state of affairs in very strong words but the same anger has to come from within for every Girl and Woman of our society only then we can see some change .
August 19th, 2024 at 7:01 pm
Completely agree, Annaiah.. it’s so frustrating to see woman not realising they not speaking up is letting the monster continue his hunt!!!
August 19th, 2024 at 8:45 pm
Your words are both impactful and absolutely necessary. Highlighting the importance of addressing this boldy by us as women is as important as punshing these offenders. Your insights not only call out the issue but also inspire others to come forward and take action. Thank you for calling this out and for driving this essential discussion forward.super proud of you.
August 19th, 2024 at 8:47 pm
Thank you so much 😊😊❤️ I really hope the women who really have to speak up, do!!
August 19th, 2024 at 10:14 pm
Why would a sister take so much time to make a blog, it’s becoz her husband is doing his duty at places which our citizens dont even know, what a army guy and a gal goes thru, i appreciate Preethi u make us under stand , what we see is just a glimp, what as a army wife going with sacrifices and compromise is not a joke, it’s just not possible, hope one understands
August 19th, 2024 at 10:14 pm
Why would a sister take so much time to make a blog, it’s becoz her husband is doing his duty at places which our citizens dont even know, what a army guy and a gal goes thru, i appreciate Preethi u make us under stand , what we see is just a glimp, what as a army wife going with sacrifices and compromise is not a joke, it’s just not possible, hope one understands
August 20th, 2024 at 7:54 am
Completely agree and endorse your views. Regards
August 20th, 2024 at 7:55 am
Thank you so much 🙂
August 20th, 2024 at 10:51 am
Straight forward from your heart. Every word of this article is so much important and powerful.🔥🔥Need more people to speak on it. Thank you for being one.🙌🙌
August 20th, 2024 at 10:52 am
Thank you so much 😊🙏🏽
September 16th, 2024 at 11:58 am
So true!!! We all need to introspect whether we have done enough to make a difference.
September 16th, 2024 at 11:58 am
Thank you for your thoughts 😊
September 17th, 2024 at 12:42 am
Totally agree with you! High time we stand up for each other be it men or women..
Good articulation of thoughts Preethi 😊 looking forward to more posts!
September 17th, 2024 at 7:11 am
Thank you so much ❤️
September 17th, 2024 at 7:54 pm
True ma’am!!!!. It’s not with only women. Even young boys fall prey to these immoral monsters. These things don’t come out due to male pride. But chastity is common, mental harassment is the same.
1. These monsters must be publicly executed so that same mistake doesn’t repeat itself.
2. Men should be encouraged to get married early in life(letting go of the dorwy evil), like our ancestors used to.
3. Parents of daughters must be open minded to get their daughters married to a man(without the expecting the man to be already successful) rather than waiting to get their daughters married to a successful old man ( based on his riches rather than capabilities of the young capable men).
3. Changes have to be brought from the very basic fabric of society to counter this evil.
4. Harsh punishments, easy early marriages, strict rules.
September 17th, 2024 at 8:03 pm
Very true Nawaaz… thank you so much for sharing your thoughts 🙂
September 29th, 2025 at 10:12 am
Hi preethi. So beautifully written and insightful aswell. Keep it up.