I had meticulously planned one of the most significant outbound training programs for our team, set in a resort amidst the montane woods of Chikkamagalur, also known as the Coffee Capital of India. The program spanned two days: day one was dedicated to formal training, while day two had experential activities.
Everything on the first day had gone smoothly, and I found myself enjoying a peaceful dinner with my manager, the VP of the organization. I briefed him on the positive feedback from participants and discussed the expected ROI timeline for this intervention. Impressed, the VP remarked, “I’m glad you pulled off such a great event while also planning a huge milestone in your personal life. Great job.“
Proud of my multitasking skills, I responded, “My work life and personal life are equally important to me”. To lighten the conversation, my manager, who was returning to Bengaluru that night, asked how my wedding preparations were going. I asked if I could join him in the car ride back to the city, as I had many arrangements to take care of over the weekend. He graciously agreed, knowing I had ensured everything was in place for the second day of the event.
As we drove on the National Highway, I sat in the rear seat with my manager and another passenger, while the day 1 facilitator I had collaborated with, occupied the co-driver seat. I struck up a conversation with him and discovered that he was a wildlife enthusiast, having volunteered in various government programs to track wild cat populations. Over the next 15 minutes, he explained the fascinating process of tracking the movement of carnivores in the forest. It was quite an eerie conversation to have while driving through a jungle.
The sun had set couple of hours ago, and it had been a productive day at work with a bonus of learning about a completely new intriguing topic. Content and grateful, I decided to take a nap. I put on my seatbelt and tried to find a comfortable position to rest my head on the window when my manager mentioned that my seatbelt clip was causing him discomfort. I removed it, called my mom to tell her to get some sleep, and assured her I’d be home by dawn. I also responded to Major Saab’s messages asking my whereabouts. The tiring yet fulfilling day finally defeated my insomnia, and I dived right into a deep sleep.
After, what felt like a few minutes, I sensed wind hitting my face causing a strange pain across my facial muscles. I could hear someone repeatedly calling my name. I tried to open my eyes but couldn’t. After a few struggling attempts, I began to see a blurred image of my manager fanning a paper at me, saying, “Preethi, can you hear me? Stay with us… you’re going to be fine.”
I was confused, I noticed two blurred figures dressed in white uniforms standing next to me… I tried to say, “where am I? who are all these people?” when I realized I wasn’t able to move my mouth… I felt water sprinkled on my face repeatedly, then, out of nowhere, an excruciating pain surged through my entire body, and I came to my senses gasping for breath.
I was lying down on a seat of a moving vehicle. I started moving my hands around me looking for my phone, I wanted to call Major Saab, I gestured to my manager, asking him for my phone and he handed it over to me.
I took the phone to unlock it when I saw my reflection on the screen, and I was horrified!!! My face was covered in blood, my teeth broken and pierced into my lower lip tearing it apart and dangling from my face!! My nose and cheeks were swollen. I could barely see my eyes, that had turned red. I tried getting up when my manager helped me sit and asked, “Do u want me to call your family? we are on our way to the highway hospital.”
My head was pounding with pain and my entire body felt powerless. My vision was going on and off. Crying in agony, I grabbed my phone and checked the time—3:30 a.m. I opened WhatsApp, saw that my brother, who is a restaurateur, was obviously online, and messaged him- Subash anna, Are u awke? Met wit an accidetn, not able to talk… I shared my live location and my manager’s number.
I immediately video-called Major Saab… but by then my head had started spinning due to pain… he picked the call immediately, “Janaa, where are……” and his words choked at my sight. I instantly asked, “Will you still marry me? I don’t have tee…” and then I fainted!
When I regained consciousness, I was on a stretcher being moved into the hospital from the ambulance. My manager informed me that he had spoken to my brother and that they were on their way. I asked for my phone again and called my brother, barely able to talk. I mumbled, “Don’t inform Amma now, Subash Anna, we will tell her in the morning please.” I added, “And my insurance card is in the cupboard…” He interrupted, “Stop talking, we are coming. don’t worry, please rest”
I was taken to the emergency room, but the doctor on call wasn’t available, so the other staff were trying to pull the dangling parts of my lip and teeth from my face. I screamed, fearing I might never move my mouth again, “No one touches me until my brothers come. Please give me a painkiller injection. I want to stay awake until they get here.”
My manager stormed into the room with Major Saab on video call, “Jaana, I am booking my flight I will be there in a few hours, you have to be strong, we will get married on the same day I promise, you- with or without teeth. Please let them do the first aid, they will only wipe the blood off your face, I have spoken to them.” I agreed and in a few minutes my brothers came rushing into the room, I reached out to his hand and blacked out again.
My brothers moved me to a larger hospital. My mom was informed of the situation in the morning. When she entered the ICU, she knew exactly what I would ask. “I’ve got the insurance card. We’ve spoken to the reception it’s going to be a cashless transaction,” she said gently stroking my head. “You’re going to be absolutely fine, and I’m talking to Prashant every half an hour. He’s coming.”
I felt a surge of courage when I saw my mom standing there, her eyes brimming with tears but maintaining her usual bravery.
The surgery was scheduled the same day. I was taken into the operation theatre, the surgeon, a close friend of my family, was making a casual conversation to ease me into the anesthesia, when I said, “Doctor, I am getting married in 3 weeks, I don’t care how my face looks but please please I need to be able to Sing and Speak! Please.” The surgeon smiled from behind the mask & said, “You will sing a song for Major Saab in your wedding, and you will look beautiful! Don’t worry!!!”
Three and a half hours later, I woke up in the ward to see Major Saab standing with amma. They were planning what & how to feed me, considering I had stitches on my face.
The next few weeks I was on liquid diet, with a wire screwed inside my mouth to help my fractured jawbones heal. The silver lining was that it definitely helped me shed those extra pounds before the wedding.
Seven days after the surgery, I went back to work wearing a mask. I informed my manager that I would need leave after my wedding, but until then, I would continue working and delivering training sessions with a mask.
Concerned colleagues told me I shouldn’t have taken the night drive back from the resort, especially as a bride-to-be, claiming it was a bad omen. A few suggested I cancel the wedding, as the accident was a sign. Acquaintances suggested that someone had wished ill upon me. Strangers looked at my stitched face with sympathy often and disgust sometimes.
But I decided to cast an ‘Expecto Patronum’ spell (a Harry Potter reference) to keep negative thoughts and views at bay. I decided I would refuse to be embarrassed by my scars!!! They are a proof of how strong I was and can be.
Stage is a place where I find meaning in my existence, whether I’m singing or speaking. As long as I can add value to discussions through my ideas and move people with my music, I decided not to pay heed to what people say or think about my looks.
These decisions helped me heal faster. Taught me to channel my energy and efforts on aspects that are important and drown the surrounding noise.
The following year was filled with series of dental surgeries and procedures, but it was also a year of performing on some of the biggest stages in the city and delivering new training sessions at work.
Resilience, in my opinion is predominantly a WILL.
Will to make and stick to the decisions one has made:
A will to strongly opt to look and move forward and learn along the way.What do you think? Resilience- a Skill or a will, or both?
P.S: My pillars of strength during this incident rather accident, have been my mom, Major Saab, Brothers- Subash Sharma and Prashanth Magadi, my sister-in law- Chithra, Sheela aunty, my exceptional doctors- Dr. Suresh babu, Dr. Sanjay- who gave me confidence and strength, my siblings more than friends- Savitha B.V, Prateek, Bindhu & Neetu. Blessed & grateful for having you all in my life. 🙂
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August 18th, 2024 at 11:15 am
Dear Preethi,
This is an inspiring experience you have shared!! Definitely it is your strong will that has helped you persevere.
Thanks for sharing!! Keep up the good work!!?
Chandrika
August 18th, 2024 at 11:17 am
Thank you ma’am 😊
August 18th, 2024 at 11:38 am
This is resilience and will all of us believe in skills but to build skills we need to have the will.
Thats what makes the difference.Well said Preethi a big salute to this wonderful article
August 18th, 2024 at 11:40 am
Thank you so much Ramya 😊
August 18th, 2024 at 11:43 am
Though I had known about this incident which had happened few years back, reading through it in your own words made me also feel the pain you must have gone through during those tough times.
True Resilence is a skill set which you can have or develop only if you have a strong will!!!!
August 18th, 2024 at 11:43 am
Thank you so much 😊😊
August 18th, 2024 at 11:53 am
You have always inspired me with your writings!
Thank you so much for sharing this experience and the valuable lessons that you have learnt Preethi.
Thank you for teaching me resilience is not a skill, it’s totally our will!
August 18th, 2024 at 11:57 am
Great write up, I still remember vividly about you sharing this with us during your post wedding ceremony. How true is that a small mistake can lead to bigger consequences, should we avoid such mistakes? Is this even possible? We are mere humans, and by nature we are prone to make those mistakes. But what do we learn from those makes the difference.
Resilience, I agree with you, a will to stay with the plan. But, if this can be practiced, is it not a skill? Putting thoughts to think about 😉
August 18th, 2024 at 12:00 pm
Interesting 😊 very true – you gave me some thought provoking points for my next article 😊 thank you so much!!
August 18th, 2024 at 12:01 pm
Thank you Preethi 😊🙏🏽🙏🏽
August 18th, 2024 at 12:02 pm
Awesome Preethi , so well written
August 18th, 2024 at 12:03 pm
Awesome Preethi , so well written, shows strength
August 18th, 2024 at 12:04 pm
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
August 18th, 2024 at 12:13 pm
Dear Preethi,
I was horrified and moved to tears by the account of your experience. Resilience is both a skill and will. Skill is what you possessed…..to see light through the darkness of that fateful night and you had the will to reach it. Your mother and siblings bolstered you with the love that you were born into, whilst Prashant stood by you with the love that you have gifted each other. You are a beautiful person, with or without teeth and I am proud of his strength of character and sincerity that helped him see you for what you are. For those who saw this incident as an I’ll omen, I would like to say that it had proved that your love and marriage are charmed and there to stay! For EVER!
On a more earthy note, please do NOT forget the lesson you learnt from it…. EVER!
God bless you both….For ever and ever…. Hare Krishna!🙏
August 18th, 2024 at 12:14 pm
Beautiful written Preethi, I could feel inch by inch movement of yours. Got goosebumps and felt what a courageous student I have. Well done Preethi. Definitely will wins over skill with persistent and determination.
August 18th, 2024 at 12:15 pm
Thank you 😊
August 18th, 2024 at 12:18 pm
Very nice of you to share your experience and the way you have gone about doing things what you think right, in your way you.
August 18th, 2024 at 12:24 pm
Thank you Rama Ma’am🙏🏽🙏🏽😊😊
August 18th, 2024 at 12:30 pm
Preethi even I remember this incident very clearly as Prashant was in touch with us.
As usual you have penned down your thoughts very clearly & beautifully.
“Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” – Albert Einstein
You found your way Preethi….more power to you girl… stay blessed 🧿
August 18th, 2024 at 12:42 pm
Thank you Mrs.Chatterjee 😊🙏🏽
August 18th, 2024 at 1:10 pm
Another great piece Preethi. Straight from the heart.
I agree with you. Resilience is “will”. And yet I disagree with you. Resilience is also “Skill”.
Resilience is a facet of Emotional Intelligence as you know. The good news is that this “will” can be cultivated. It is inside one’s mind. Your motivation to sing and to teach are your primary motivators in my view. The book “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor E Frankl is based on real life incidents during WW2 – in which people who survived the atrocities of the war and the concentration camps invariably had a bigger purpose to look forward to. I am glad you believed in your purpose so strongly that giving up was not even in your dictionary.
Keep telling us your stories and sharing your thoughts. It is inspirational to say the least.
August 18th, 2024 at 1:11 pm
Thank you so much sir 😊🙏🏽
August 18th, 2024 at 3:03 pm
Thank you 😊
August 18th, 2024 at 4:10 pm
So beautifully written Preethi. Kinda went through the journey with you.
Resilience is both a skill and a will 🙂
August 18th, 2024 at 4:18 pm
Thank you 😊
August 18th, 2024 at 5:51 pm
Dear Preethi
What an inspiring read. Hats off to you and yours.
I am glad that we met. More power to you
Divya Dureha
August 18th, 2024 at 5:52 pm
Thank you so much 😊🙏🏽
August 18th, 2024 at 6:39 pm
Very well articulated Preethi. I loved the last part where you call out about learning from life incidents .
Good one !!
August 18th, 2024 at 8:36 pm
I remember this horrific day and seeing you in such terrible pain was heart wrenching.. . However I have also seen you smile through this entire phase and crack jokes about after.. that’s what makes you different. You are definitely a strong n brave girl.
August 18th, 2024 at 8:36 pm
Thank you so much 😊🙏🏽
August 18th, 2024 at 9:34 pm
Dear Preeti
Your are strong and brave. Life is short and sweet memories, Allways hope on good time’s
August 18th, 2024 at 10:28 pm
Dear Preethi,
You have always been a person who never would shy away from hurdle right from your childhood. You always decided what you wanted and your thoughts were very clear. Your will definitely is your magic wand. Hats off to your braveness, courage to have gone through such tragic incident. I’m sure you’ve grown stronger than ever now. Goes without saying, I love the way you write. The words you choose aptly helps to imagine the circumstance. All the best for your writing, speaking and singing. Keep going!
August 18th, 2024 at 10:29 pm
Thank you so much ❤️❤️
August 18th, 2024 at 11:42 pm
Dear Preethi!
First of all , I’m so glad you came out of that horrific experience a wiser and stronger individual. Kiddos to you dear girl! I would like to say you are one commendable human being!
God bless all those who were there for you.
Wish you the very best. I’m confident you will always lead the life that you have wished for yourself and with your loved ones!
Stay blessed dear one knowing you are looked after by the Universe at all times.
Lots of love and hugs!
August 18th, 2024 at 11:43 pm
Thank you so much Rani 😊🙏🏽😊
August 19th, 2024 at 12:35 am
Never knew about this ma’am. Truly inspiring. Very well presented. God bless
August 19th, 2024 at 1:12 am
Thank you 🙏🏽😊
August 19th, 2024 at 10:03 am
Courageous … as always… Mrs Preethi… Skill or will..whatever.. Having known u, Majorsaab & some of ur family later on, u have both aplenty… though will power.. inherent.. contributes more…
August 19th, 2024 at 10:03 am
Thank you so much 😊🙏🏽🙏🏽
August 19th, 2024 at 3:35 pm
Dear Preethi! What a horrific experience you have had! I remember you telling us about this bad incident before your wedding! Your strong support system comprising of your mother, Prashanth, your brothers and friends have helped you to face all the challenges and also your will power! Stay happy and blessed dear!
August 19th, 2024 at 3:42 pm
Just when we feel everything is planned, there comes a googly, maybe this was one for you. The main thing always is what you do in such situations, the fact that you did what you did speaks loads of your positive and courageous personality. No one better than friends and family to have around during these times as they are always the source of inspiration, irrespective of life situation.
August 19th, 2024 at 3:42 pm
Thank you Ankit 😀
August 19th, 2024 at 3:43 pm
Thank you so much aunty 😊
August 20th, 2024 at 10:50 am
Lioness!! Now after reading your this phase of life experience, the horrifing pain and even in that situation ur presence of mind about now what and later and choosing to stay positive with that pain got tears in my eyes.
You choose to stay positive, you choose Will over fear, thats why you attracted positive people. We are all just part of it but you are the one who fought it back fearlessly came out of it with more strenght and courage. Now it’s time for you to enjoy all the good things in life which you truly deserve and keep inspiring people who lost faith and who succumbed to the situation in life, that they can come out of it start a new life with flying colors.
Mom, your family, Prashanth who stood by you not showing their sadness in front of you in that situation and giving you hope, made u feel it’s nothing we are always with you, hats off to them🙏🏻 May God bless all! 🙏🏻
August 20th, 2024 at 10:51 am
Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️ big hug to you 😊
September 23rd, 2024 at 12:43 am
I could vividly imagine each scene as you described it. The way you articulate your experience in words is truly outstanding! I literally got goosebumps reading through it. Your mention of the silver lining perfectly highlights your greatest strength—your ability to always find the positive in every situation. I’m so proud of you. Truly inspiring.
September 23rd, 2024 at 6:45 am
Thank you su much 😊😊
September 24th, 2024 at 9:54 pm
Beautiful story of grit and resilience
September 24th, 2024 at 10:59 pm
Thank you 🙏🏽🙏🏽😊
November 7th, 2024 at 3:06 pm
Hey darling,
You are truly a woman of substance ( pun intended 😊).
It most definitely needs immense courage and confidence to put out your story as scary and scarry as this, to the whole world.
Loved your approach even in the worst situation, when no one is blamed or blurred.
Hats off to your Major Saab’s love and assurance twrds you, that helped you heal fast to hold hands, sing and dance for your D-day.
Much love to both of you 🤗💝
November 7th, 2024 at 3:07 pm
Thank you so much Rajini ma’am 😊❤️🙏🏽